Is it Wednesday already?

Why oh why has this girl been neglecting her blog? Well I can tell you this- I flossed my teeth last night, so I’m certainly not neglecting my gums. Which reminds me, I need to schedule my regular 6-month cleaning appointment at my dentists office…

I’ve been fretting (for a detailed investigation on the total fret experience, please see http://www.fretme.blogspot.com/ AKA, Pennsylvania’s most interesting Blog…) all month long about giving the toast at Beth’s wedding (which is coming up ANY DAY NOW…) Not fretting so much about the process of giving the toast, but what I was actually going to say. I wanted to make it snappy, short, sweet, multi-generationally appropriate etc, and I think I’ve managed to capture at least 50% of those goals. Don’t worry guys, it IS appropriate. It is also pretty short. Snappy and sweet however, are open for discussion.

So I’ve been working on that…. And what else….. What other legitimate reasons can I throw out there for being a fair-weather blogger? I’ve had a house guest for the last 4 days. It was a really good four days.

What else… Tonight is Napoleon Dynamite at Marymoor Park in Redmond. They’ve been doing outdoor movies right next to the dog park, so we’ve got a group going for the season finale tonight. The evening will involve dogs, friends, and a great flick. Just hoping it doesn’t get rained out…which it might.

I just feel like if I’m going to blog, I should have something that at least I think is somewhat clever (regardless of its actual or perceived cleverness by others), and I haven’t felt very clever lately. Perhaps it’s a lingering feeling of guilt for having thoughts of “Aw man! Why can’t WE have cool tropical storms like Katrina?! We never get any interesting weather here in Seattle!” when she was in fact, a relatively small tropical storm buzzing around Boca Raton. Now she’s wiped out major cities along the Gulf Coast and taken hundreds of lives. “I guess I spoke too soon,” is a bit of an understatement huh?

In the famous, but irritatingly early-90’s words of Bart Simpson, Aye Carumba!


I’m going to take my dog to the movies now.

As IF...

I don't get enough boiler-room jack-asses calling me throughout the day to beg me to put my "best clients" into "emerging opportunities" that offer unique access to the nanotechnology sector.... Yeah, we get cold-calls every once in a while from guys pushing penny stocks, so we'll move the market, they sell out at the top and make a quick buck for their people. Its usually kind of fun, as when they call, we've adopted the fun practice (inspired by Aaron Johnson) of telling these guys something to the effect of; "Actually, I don't do any business in penny stocks, I typically stick with AAA-rated, insured municipal bonds, but my colleague, YOUR NAME HERE, deals EXCLUSIVELY in the penny stocks, you might give him a call. I'm sure he'd be happy to give you an hour to 90 minutes of his time to discuss some of your ideas. His direct line is XXX-XXXX, but let me transfer you to him now..."


Ahhhh, its fun to give people shit sometimes... I like not being a rookie anymore. Well, not the rooki-est of rookies at least.

So- if the above rambling makes no sense to you, that means that you didn't see the "comment" that was left by a spammer telling is all about a miraculous new stock that was going to the MOON!!! I deleted it. This, and a couple other random commercial comments have lead me to tack on a word verification requirement before any comments can be left. I hope this doesn't inconvenience anyone, and I hope it keeps the spammers at bay...

Checking In...

I'm still here. Haven't forgotten about you. But I just haven't found a the time to compose any thoughts lately. I think if I did blog now, it would just be an incoherent basket of statements and thoughts such as:

Chocolate milk is quite possibly my favorite food in the world. And yes, I consider it a food.

I'm still amazed at the ridiculousness of the White Lies chardonnay concept.

I have a sun burn on my nose.

Why the hell can't I get to bed before 11PM during the week? It makes me a zombie by the time Friday afternoon rolls around.

I think I actually like Ashton Kutcher as an actor. And I'm not ashamed to admit that.

I don't know how to mail-merge okay? I hate not being able to do simple administrative tasks. It makes me feel dependent on an assistant. It makes me feel like a man.

I have a client meeting in 35 minutes and should be preparing for that instead of doing this.

Being a reformed nail-biter means that you have to spend a fair amount of time on nail filing. They just keep growing, and I just have to keep filing. Odd concept. Still getting used to it.

I have a video due back at Hollywood video tomorrow by noon. How much you want to bet that I forget to take it back tonight and get some monster late fees?

When I'm rich and fabulous, I'm going to hire a service to clean my car (inside and out) once a week. I dislike having a dirty car. But I dislike cleaning it more.

That's all I've got. Brain is one empty. Gas tank is not. (But wallet is)

God I hate foofy drinks...

Wow. I was responding to an evite today and got a pop-up ad that linked to this site...

http://www.whiteliewines.com/whitelie/home.jsp


Am I the only wine-drinking, dessert-eating, professional woman who is totally outraged by this concept?

I’m not going to rant. I’m just not going to. But I really want to, and the more I look through this web site, the more I want to say, “Oh, please… could someone just gag me with a Raspberry Merlot?”

If you’ve really got a strong stomach, try clicking on “read our story” link under Created For Women, By Women: And That’s No Lie!

Want to know something really scandalous?? I mean really… Its naughty. Very naughty? Are you sure??? Okay…

Sometimes, when I’m feeling really lonely and missing my man, I turn down the lights, light some candles, turn on some soft music, slip into my robe… and just give myself the most amazing mud mask facial EVER!! And I might even have a chocolate cookie afterward!! Tee hee!! It’s TRUE you guys!!! I do it! I’m such a sinner… but I’ll never tell… its my special secret. Ohmygawd… I’m like so embarrassed!!!

Once again, can I get a “Gag me with an Arbor Mist!” from my people out there???

Like I said, I’m trying not to rant, but I have to close by adding my last thought: Have you ever watched MTV, or been to some youth-oriented retail place and seen products that are marketed toward young people in a really ineffective way, that is clearly some corporate schmo’s (highly inaccurate) “vision” of what America’s Youth wants? Yeah, me too.

I think this White Lie’s Chardonnay add campaign is some 20-something, new-grad-chick-with-a-marketing-degree’s vision of what “ you know, like OLDER women” want in their life. So to her I say this:

Katherine,* (wow- that sounds so old and grown-up, I’m still used to calling you Katie!!) what you don’t understand is that women, after they leave the hallowed walls of the Kappa Beta Pi house on Greek row,** don’t give a rat’s ass if people know they listen to boy-bands, drink wine to the point of drunkenness if they so desire, watch reality-TV, or even God forbid… eat dessert. So stop marketing to us as if we are a bunch of low-self-esteemed, desperate-to-fit-in wannabes okay? Christ.


* Okay, it could be Ashleigh, Christy, Heather, Rebecca (Becky), Jenni- you get my point…
**I was in a sorority and loved every minute of it, so I’m allowed to make fun.

I've got a wicked case of P.V.

If having and maintaining a Phone Voice were a criminal offense, I’d be guilty in the first degree. Honestly, I think I would have to register as a Phone Voice Offender. Like, maybe even a Level 3, as I am “highly likely to re-offend.”

My neighbors would have to be notified by the authorities that I live in their vicinity. They might have to warn their children not to answer the phone if they suspect it might be me calling.

Would I still be able to vote and have a hand-gun?

I can’t help it! Maybe it’s the industry that I work in, or maybe I have some innate desire to over-compensate for a self-consciousness about being young and inexperienced (though I’m getting less young and less green every day. Some might even call me an “old timer” at this point). Or maybe it’s just the subject matter that I generally discuss with clients. I mean, is it even possible to say something like, “I’m planning to evaluate your account with more depth in the coming week. At that point, if there are any reallocations or modifications that need immediate attention, I will be in contact with you to discuss a plan of action” without having even a hint of PV?? I don’t know. And really, I don’t care. All I know is that every once in a while I’ll catch the sound of my own voice and think, “jeeeze….who the heck is THAT corporate schlep?? I bet she’s wearing a beige pant-suit!” And then I’m like “Whoa! That’s ME and I AM wearing a pant-suit!” But it’s not beige… today at least.

Don't cry, I'm still here!

**before I forget: Please notice my updated links- I've added a few, and taken away the link to the Carl Vinson (despite improving relations with the US Navy and Yours truly, its just not very interesting now because the ship is in port and just chillin'). If you want your web-site linked up, let me know! Also- if anyone can tell me how to fix my google ad bar from being stuck under my header, I sure could use some advice. Me no know computers. Okay- back to regularly scheduled blogging***


Well, I'll be darned. Its been quite a spell since my last entry! I learned this weekend that more than a couple (yeah, so 3...) people actually notice when I don't blog with regularity! I feel so loved, but aye, what responsibility!?!


High/low-lights of the last week include, but are not limited to: 1)Kicking ass in a major way at our last kickball game of the season, ensuring a worst-case-scenario of finishing 2nd in the league this year. If we do well in the play-offs this week, a championship is ours at long last!! (highlight). 2) Losing 9 colleagues and friends this week at work to "corporate restructuring" and having a hearty dose of survivors' guilt. Okay, so they weren't all friends, but some of them were and I will really miss having them in my every-day life. If you're reading this, it totally blows without you. (low-light). 3) Getting SOLD a new credit card over the phone because the guy was really good at handling my objections, and was polite, respectful, and I feel for anyone who has to do phone solicitations for a living (low light, but I hope he got some sort of bonus for it) 4) Katie's wedding on Saturday, which marked my maiden voyage to Shelton, WA. For more fun wedding details, including a photo of me sleeping on the floor in the manner of King Tut, please visit Erik's blog at http://www.008.blogspot.com/ (high-light). And there have been a few other pretty cool highlights that aren't quite blog-worthy, so if you're reading this thinking, "Damnit woman! I thought my breakthroughs would at least be a highlight!?!?" rest assured that they were, silly. But this jaded skeptic isn't going to go public anytime soon.

SO- I finally have some pictures to share...
hang on.... they're still uploading....

Here are some from kickball: Brooke Bootin' it.
Me bootin' (honest, its me, I'm just not really in the picture...)

Some sweet base running action: Erin bookin' for home Jess heading home, putting the fear of god into the other team's catcher Look at the discipline in Erik's eyes... wow

And some wedding shots: Sorry for being a catty bitch, but this is my own version of "what not to wear.." again, see Erik's blog for further discussion on the inappropriateness of white, bra-strap and roll-showing tank tops.

Dancing kids rule. Especially when they're in leotards, for some reason... And the token sorority girl shot, because really, what's a wedding without one?

I love buying CD’s. Yeah, it’s a lot cheaper to get a copy from a friend, but there is something magical about unwrapping a brand-spanking new CD, looking through the liner notes, reading the acknowledgments, lyrics and exploring the pictures. Granted, there is nothing more disappointing than doing this for a CD that ultimately is a let-down, OR that has no/minimal liner notes. But even with those risks, I’m still committed to buying new CD’s- I’m probably down to about 1 or 2 a month on average. More like 1 these days. But I just bought one today and I haven’t even listened to the whole thing yet, but I know its one of my favorites of all time. And the weird thing is, its nothing new. Its exactly the same CD that came out, that I loved 10 years ago. Only its TOTALLY different.



Maybe you’ve heard it before, maybe you’ve heard it again, but if you don’t have Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill- Acoustic, then you just, well, you really need to get it. Its just damned good.

It’s Jagged Little Pill. Only its totally reborn, she’s singing the same songs, but they’re different, not better, certainly not worse, but totally different, and beautiful. More mature? I want to say that… she’s forgiven, but hasn’t forgotten (but that sounds so cheesy!). The words are all still there, and some of them are the same angry words, but language is more than words, and she’s happy now, and the songs are so… refreshing? Not dismissive, just moving on. Stronger.

"You Oughta Know" is perfect. And it is beyond me how someone can sing the words "And everytime I scratch my nails down someone else's back, I hope you feel it" and make it sound... cathartic instead of angry. But she pulled it off. Awesome.

When it comes down to it, she just has a great voice and great writing. This is one of those CD’s where every single track could stand alone, and they still can. Hooray Alanis! You are a smart cookie! And you are once again, my favorite Canadian!

** edited to add: Okay- the stupid quote about Real Intimacy in the earlier post was credited to a Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski of "Health Communications, Inc." I posted this last night, and have had a few questions as to who the heck these people are... Sorry for the confusion- that's who they are!




I did another google search. Here are Jim and Judy. Don't they look happy? Don't they look like they're on marriage number eleventeen? How much you wanna bet they're into swapping? Er, I mean, "open marriage."

Dark moods and generosity.... fer christ...

Pardon the Rant.

Ring the bells, sound the horns, strike up the band, it’s Double Blog Thursday Thunder!! Or maybe I just need to say to the world: Back OFF! For the LOVE OF PETE!

I’ve been trying not to notice things in the last few days, trying to blow off little sights and sounds that ring a little bell of “twiiiing- he doesn’t want you in his life anymore.” Its actually more of a “thwack” of a club than at “Twiiiiiing” of a bell. Well, before this past weekend it was a twiiiing. This weekend it turned into the thwack. But I needed a Thwack to get over it, you know? So that’s what I’m doing- onward! Seattle is too beautiful and happy this time of year to ignore that fact that I’m well, beautiful and happy too J ( I mean heck, underneath it all, I’m still just a happy girl. And I’m a total hottie.).

So Lindsey is coaching me on match.com (maybe I can find someone who looks good on paper?) , I’m putting renewed efforts into my Canada-America Mid 20’s Cultural Exchange Program (which ironically has no actual connections to Canada, other than the nationality of its founding member), so I can continue finding young men who, well, let’s face it, look really good (but not on paper). I even went to Bike Maintenance 101 class last night at REI and can now proudly say that the next time I get a flat, I’ll be able to fix it! I’m empowered! I rock! I’m going to have a pretty good month at work! I finally found my perfect menu item at Taco Del Mar (after years of tacos and burritos that just weren’t “me” I discovered the chicken quesadilla is just right.) Things are good!

So I can totally pretend not to notice that its Seafair weekend and I have to reroute my drives because the Blue Angels are flying over my head all week. I mean really, its not like people in my office are even yelling down the hallways, “Hey- the Blues are flying- you can see them from the window!!” Heck, I barely notice that the city of Seattle is SWARMING with Navy people in their whites cruising around the town aimlessly. Sometimes even walking right into the street in front of my car, crossing against the signal at a cross walk, causing me to almost hit them. Barely even notice.

Last night when I checked my e-mail, I had all these weirdo’s from match.com who wanted to talk to me. Quick screen: call to Lindsey:

Me: “Um, I really don’t want to reply to any of these guys- am I missing something, and I just bitchy?”
Her: Hummmm lots of no’s. But you should write back to this one. And this one. And that one. I noticed a mistake in your profile, I’ll fix it- what’s your password again? Great. She’s a swell coach.

Then later I get this e-mail from a guy who I’m able to see, on my very own, looks good on paper. “Yey! I’m proud of myself! I figured it out on my own!”. 35 years old, Lives in Seattle. Newly back to the area. Pilot. Nice looking guy. Okay, I’ll take the bait. Maybe we can talk about the uncertainly of pensions for those poor guys at Delta and United or something. I write back. Nothing interesting, just some small talk. And I think to myself, maybe I should read his whole profile. So I click on it while I’m humming the “I love technology...we met in a chatroom…” song in manner of Kip Dynamite.

So I read on. Oh right, of course. He’s a pilot for the US Navy. He actually lives in Anacortes, but posts that he lives in Seattle, because its hard to meet “quality people” in Anacortes. I admit, at this point, I do say to myself, “Ah nuts. You’re killin’ me.” But no big woop. He’s a good guy, and at least he doesn’t fly the SAME plane or anything.

So at work today, with the Blue Angles shaking our glass partitions, and stockbrokers with renewed childhood dreams, craning their necks to look out the windows, I decided that I wanted some hot chocolate. Kind of an unusual thing for me. I’m normally a coffee or water girl mid-day. But we have packets of Swiss Miss in the break room. So I head in and open the cupboard where said Swiss Miss is stored. Along with a variety of Celestial Seasonings Teas. Dang it! We’re out of hot chocolate! But front and center is a box of tea that has somehow fallen out of formation with all its other tea box friends. Its starting at me head-on. I look at it, and I shit-you-not, this is what is says on the side panel that is facing me, word-for-word:
-Real Intimacy-
“Imagine it- someone knows you, all of you, your talents and eccentricities, your generosity and dark moods, what you look like at your best and at your worst. Imagine that you’ve opened all of yourself to that person, no masks, no affectations and that someone says, ‘Yes, I see you, all of you, and I love you for the person you are…’ That’s what makes love so precious. That’s what real romance and intimacy are all about.” -The New Intimacy, Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski

ON A GOD DAMNED BOX OF TEA.

At this point, I have a hard time not responding in my head with a “Yeah, and imagine that person is moving to the other side of the country in a few months, and doesn’t want you there with him, because he knows that you’re not ‘the one’, but doesn’t want to break up with you until he has to move because he wants to keep mind-fucking you and having fun and enjoying your ‘generosity and dark moods’. So you know what Celestial Seasonings?? You know what you can do with your Real Intimacy? You can GO FUCK YOURSELF!”.

Whoa! Did I really have that kind of reaction to a lame-ass poem on a box of Almond Sunset TEA? Yes, I sure did.

So world, could you please throw me a fucking bone here? I’m really sick and tired of being sad and confused and frustrated. I really want to just have a nice little memories, a nice little summer and end this nonsense. I’m ready to rock. Let’s go. What is it world? Are you jealous of my ability to accept reality and make the best of it? What, do you think I’m going to steal your man? Well maybe I will! What? Did you just call me a bitch? Oh no you DIDN’T!! You better watch yourself. Stupid Ho.

Maybe I'M the one who's Ready to Rock?

A few days ago I mentioned a t-shirt that said, "Ready to Rock." Awesome.

I googled "Sweet guitar riffs" today (I might have had a reason, but I might have just been fantasizing about being Pat Benetar... again) and I found this.
http://www.guitarnoise.com/article.php?id=207

No, I don't play guitar, never have. But it's articles like this that make me wish I did. And just look at the author. He totally rocks! In a Canadian sort of way. But I don't think he would be an eligible candidate for my Canada-America Mid-20's Cultural Exchange Program. Don't think Lindsey would let him past the initial screening phase. Which is probably a good thing.

Anyway- enjoy the article, and Don't forget to Rock Out. (with your cock out?) Or as Justin would counter: Hang out with your Wang (or Huang) Out. Heehee.... I said wang.

Books: My Top Five of Oh Five...so far.

Okay- Since January, I haven’t really finished a whole lot more than 5 books, but here are the ones that qualify. While they may not be the best books in the world, they’re the ones that were good enough for me to read all the way through. And that’s big for me. A Actually have a book that was so inconsequential that I ready the entire thing, save the last 4 pages, and never actually finished it. I forget the name, but it was by the Author of Bridget Jones’ Diary and it came out about a year ago. There’s a picture of a lady snorkeling in a giant martini glass on the cover. Very blah. The character was nothing even close to Bridget.

Here they are, in my order of reading, not in order of preference (And these weren't necessarily written in 2005, but its the year I read them. Yes, it IS all about me):

1) Angels and Demons: For a long time, I had an aversion to reading the DaVinci Code because I was sick of hearing everyone and their brother raving about it. But I bought this book in the Dallas airport on my way home from a work training as a gift for someone who likes the author. I decided to read it on the way back and I really loved it. A very suspenseful and captivating story. The kind of book you can’t wait to get back to. It was my first Dan Brown book, so nothing seemed to rhyme with his other books yet. I compare this (loosely) to my first Christopher Guest movie, which was Best In Show. This is solely because I wasn’t expecting anything at all when I saw that movie, and was delighted. Many will say that Spinal Tap, or perhaps Waiting for Guffman is his true best work, but Best in Show will always have a special, hilarious place in my heart. Don’t girls always say that about their firsts?)
2) DaVinci Code: Okay, I was hooked. I caught the fever. But I still refuse to read the Harry Potter series. I NEARLY veered from that path last weekend. Thank GAWD than an emotionally draining, yet cathartic discussion ensured so I didn’t have to keep reading the book. Anyway- I liked DaVinci Code, a very entertaining story, and thought provoking. Do I “buy it?” Maybe? I really wasn’t totally sold on the alternative in the first place, so it wasn’t some sort of life-shattering/affirming book for me. But a great story. And I like seeing religious conservatives get all bent out of shape when a little fictional story puts an alternative perspective on their beliefs. That’s fun to watch. But the anemic, and inconsequential romantic undertones between the two main characters seems a little familiar.

2.5) Deception Point: I had the Fever. And the only thing that could cure me was more Dan Brown. Well… actually I had this book on the book shelf- was given to me as a recommended read. I think I had started it in ’04, but didn’t quite get past the first chapter. I thought I’d jump back into it with a renewed interest, thus qualifying it as an “oh five” read. Not too shabby. Certainly interesting enough to power through the book on the exercise bike at the gym. But at this point, I’m getting a little tired of the 40-something intellectual as the leading man, who is somewhat of a broken man when it comes to love, until that is, he realizes while escaping death, that he really does love that young, vivacious go-getter female lead who’s father was very accomplished- but did she ever really get the love she needed from Daddy? Or was Daddy too much in love with his craft?

3) The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know: Okay, don’t judge. I first ran a search for this book because I saw a guy reading it at Glo’s Diner on Capitol Hill. He was sitting there, alone at his table, with the book and its cover out for all to see. I was with Allison at the time and of course we noticed it. I think he liked that. Recently ran a search for the book because this story came up in conversation, and I was wondering, and somewhat willing to bet, if/that this guy was doing some sort of psychological experiment, and there was some grad student note-taker behind a silk plant noting how many people made eye contact with him, or blushed after reading the title of the book. I think my initial response was “no way is he, or that book for real.” I seriously thought it had to be a fake book. But no, its real. And I found it on amazon.com. Then I bought as a gift- kind of a gag gift if you will. A gift given with the sole intention of embarrassing the recipient when he opened it in front of his friends. But I read it first. (Kind of like Angels and Demons). The first half of the book pretty much dispels the idea that a man’s orgasm and ejaculation are at all connected physiologically, and that our western cultures just sees them as one in the same. That one means the other. The book is all about how that isn’t true at all. Okay. Great. But the SECOND half of the book is what qualifies it onto my list. Its pretty much a How to Please Your Partner commentary. But this is the best How to Please Your Partner commentary that I have ever read. I never thought I’d be singing praises for a sex book, certainly not writing in the margins and highlighting chapters like “Thrusting Technique” and “The Art of the Screw” but I did. Good Stuff. Spot on. Ladies, buy this book for your men. Its kind of like when you man buys lingerie for you. Sure, its “for” you, but really its for him. Sure, this book is really for him, but its really for you too. Don’t get me wrong, this will not make bad sex good, but it will make phenomenal sex phenomenalER.

4) Kite Runner: Just a dang good book. And an important book to read. Mixes a splash of history with a twist of current events, poured into a universal coming of age story about friendship, innocence, forgiveness and love of country, family and friends. More people should read this book. Why do I feel like a cocktail all of a sudden…

5) Under the Banner of Heaven: Don’t get me wrong, this is a good book. I think it could have been better. I enjoyed it because it gives a great background into the history of Mormonism and kind of answers all of those questions about the origin of the faith, basic beliefs etc without being religious propaganda and/or having a 21 year old blonde kids with acne and a clip-on tie named “Elder so-and-so” in your living room. But who knows, some Mormons might find it anti-Mormon propaganda? But the book really isn’t about Mormons, its about religious fundamentalists, in this case the FLDS “church” (fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints) which from what I can tell, has no formal, recognized or authorized connection to the LDS church. What the book doesn’t do (and could have done) is give much of an answer to, or even a suggestion for an answer to the questions of: How do we as a human race know when to “say when” to religion? At what point is something that is valued, praised and modeled by most societies, in one way or another, become toxic? And who/what exactly is authorized or capable of making that kind of decision? But that’s a pretty touch question to answer. And at the end of it, you might feel the way you’d feel when you read some long academic research piece that concluded at the end that “it is clear from these studies that more research is warranted.”

So now here’s my predicament: What should I read next? I have some books that were given to me that I haven’t ready yet, and if one YOU gave me is on this list, please don’t be offended that I haven’t read it yet! Since this great weather, I’m less inclined to use the exercise bike and more inclined to use my real bike. Which has cut down considerably on my reading time. Here’s what I’ve got in the bull-pen (in no particular order)

1) The Road to Al-Qaeda: I bought this so I could understand more. This curiosity came from reading Under the Banner of Heaven. A non-fiction book. Haven’t started it. Great, I hope putting that here doesn’t make my site come up for some Patriot Act review…
2) Life of Pi: Given to me to read. Not sure if it was a recommendation based on what that person thought I would like to read, or more of a, “I’ve got his book, don’t need it anymore, nothing else to do with it, guess I’ll send it to Gina” Probably a bit of both.
3) Middlesex: A birthday present.
4) Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time: Given to me based on a “I just read this and think you’ll love it” recommendation
5) The Crimson Petal and the White: Recommended a long time ago. Purchased a long time ago. Has been collecting dust for a long time- haven’t even cracked the cover.
6) The Red Tent: Same deal- recommended a long time ago, bought it, never got around to reading it.


So my friends: What should I read next??

Okay, here it is...

The site that tells me I look like Anna Kornakova and Ashley Judd. Nice site. Niiiice site. But one time it told me that I looked like Punky Brewester. But that actress ended up having huge cans as I recall. So THAT'S not a match. http://www.play-analogia.com then go to "try it" on the top menu bar. You have to use a photo that is a stright-on head shot, so do your best, and just for fun, let me know who you look like.

Back in Action

Okay, as I return to my blogging duties, I bring with me a new tool that will surely add a whole new dimension to Ginapalooza. A camera phone. I finally buckled down and bought a new phone last night. Actually, the buying of the new phone wasn’t so hard- it was the renewing of the Verizon contract for two years that was hard. Cripes. I had been considering doing it for a several months, as I was using a ghetto, old-school Motorola brick-like thing (as I found it was better in battery life AND call reception than my newer, temporarily lost, but then recovered LG flip phone). I was also just out of my contract period and eligible for a new phone at a lower price upon renewal. I’ve actually liked Verizon quite well since I started using them, but many months ago, I was advised by a certain naval aviator to NOT renew on Verizon but switch to Cingular when my contract expired, so that I could have free mobile-to-mobile minutes with him. But okay, I really get it this time, I’m not going to be talking much to said aviator anymore. And I’m okay with that. And you know what, I like Verizon damnit, so I’m sticking with them.

But anyway- I finally have a camera phone, and I sprung for one that apparently has a pretty good camera- relative to most camera phones at least. Or the sales guy was lying to me. Either are viable options. Now all I need to do is get better at using it discretely. Today would have been a great opportunity. I went to Taco Time for lunch and there was a guy there with a mullet, wearing a black T-shirt with “Ready to Rock” in bold white block letters. Sweet! But I was alone, and didn’t want him to think I was a stalker. The last thing I need is a reputation as “the girl who stalks guys with mullets who are ready to rock.” I mean really, who wants to be THAT girl??

Hopefully next time such an opportunity comes along, I’ll be with someone else, so I can pretend I’m taking a photo of them, while the actual subject of the photograph is strategically placed in the background. My two best experiences with this strategy were #1 in the train station in The Hauge (Den Haag HS for the Dutchies out there) where there was a seemingly normal guy just standing there, looked like he was waiting for someone, but he was wearing bright yellow wooden shoes. It was classic. So I had Allison stand in between this guy and me, so I could take his picture, while the world thought I was taking a picture of her (a far more socially acceptable act) and #2 Same scenario, only the actual photo subject was a gigantic menorah on the lawn of a house in Berkley. Seriously, it was over 6 feet tall. So Beth stood in the foreground for me. What a good sport.

So get excited people. Because some of the Greater Seattle Area’s “What Not to Wear According to Gina” photos will be coming soon!!

I'm still here!

I've just been terribly irregular with the blogging. I found a fun web site that analyzes a photo of anyone and tells you which celbrity that person most looks like, and it came up with Anna Kornakova and Ashley Judd for me, so naturally I wanted to share these results with the world, since I totally do look like both of them... (WTF?!?) but now I can't find the dang link.

Lots of other stuff going on with Gina Grace but not much that's blog worthy/appropriate. Funny how some things just aren't fit and/or interesting enough for public announcement.

An American Phenomenon

The Bachelorette Party. An Institution in to itself. Its too early for me to write much, I woke up too early, and now I think I need to get back in bed for another hour or so, but I wanted to say hello to you. And thanks for reading.

Last night was my friend Katie's bachelorette party. She's getting married in a couple of weeks, and until last night, I hadn't seen her in about 2 years. There were some other people there too who I hadn't seen in a long time, so it was nice to reconnect with some of those ladies. Though it was a little awkward when I asked a friend's little sister, "So, how's your baby!?" (because she had just had a new baby when I spoke to her last...) Her response was, "Oh, he's great! He's five months old now, so things are starting to settle down a little bit." Yeah, this was baby number 2. And big brother is now 2 1/2 years old. And I ask you all: Since when do my friend's little sisters have 2 kids??

This was a traditional Bachelorette party. None of this "quiet girls' weekend in Napa" business. This was your standard Stripper, hotel room, loud bar, dressed up bachelorette type of night. Fortunately or unfortunately, I missed the stripper, and didn't join the party until dinner. Just think, I was picking up my bike after a tune-up while some poor girl in the bridal party was getting dry-humped by a guy trying to work his way through his massage school. Sweet. Can't say I was too disappointed, as by all accounts, the guy was described as "well... Kind of... aggressive?" More proof that sometimes guys, even paid professionals, just don't Get It.

As it were, we went to Seattle's OTHER dueling piano bar last night to start the festivities. Who'da though that I would be touring the piano bars of Seattle each weekend this summer? There were about eleventeen other bachelorette parties there that night, making the place packed with crazy women looking to party. This prompted me to say under my breath, (quite inappropriately I might add) as we were leaving toward the 2 shy, quiet guys that were coming into the bar:

"If those two can't get laid tonight, it'll never happen."

Why do I have to be so surly and crass sometimes? Well, what's done is done. I hope they took it as encouragement.

For some reason I just wasn't feeling totally alive and awake. I really tried, but I was just too tired to stay out very long. I guess I can only have the real crazy weekends once a month or so. I came home to my apartment to discover that I had forgotten to lock my refrigerator. The tell-tale signs being: food all over the floor and a fat dog on the couch pretending to still be asleep to avoid punishment.

Now I know that very few of you have actually seen this occurrence, so after some very quick clean up last night, here are some photos that I took this morning of the wreckage. Please note: this is VERY mild compared to Daphne's earlier works, as I keep very little food in the refrigerator these days.

Exhibit A) I forgot to double lock my refrigerator. Silly me.


Please note patches of yellow egg yolk dried into carpet. That'll be fun to clean up... And I think that was a jar of salad dressing in the corner. Dogs love Lite Ranch dressing.



These were the egg shells that were big enough to pick up easily from the floor.
"Still life with Eggs and Smart Balance"

And here is my lady-friend who is behind it all. She is still sleeping on the couch. And snoring a bit now.

No Pictures of me in my swim suit and goggles?? I want a refund!!

At last, times for my triathlon were posted. After WAY too long of a wait, I have confirmed that I did finish in the “about and hour and a half” range that I thought I did. Total time: 1 hour, 31 minutes and 38 seconds, which put me at #58 out of 122 racers. Phew! Above (verrrrry slightly) the median! And the real fun hasn’t even started…. The real fun is finding PHOTOS of yourself during such an event and realizing how pretty you are in spandex. Ummmm, spandex…. But folks, don’t get too excited. There were only a few photos of the swimming leg, and none of me. But I have a feeling I looked totally hot in my neon green swim cap and goggles, accented my a look of bewilderment on my face. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was sexy. I took these photos off of the photographer's web site. I guess you only have to pay for print copies. That, or he shouldn't make it so easy for people to copy and past them... Anyway, I suppose I can live with the 80's style pencil sketch frame if they're on the house.

Here I am getting started in the bike leg- already out of the saddle on the first little hill? The learning experience here being: Make sure you’re already in an easy gear when you get started: you never know when they’ll be a hill right away. Getting your feet in the peddles, choking up the last bit of lake out of your lungs AND shifting at the same time is a bit much.


I like how the red and blue ankle strap on the timing chip kind of makes it look like I have rainbow colored socks on.

And after kickin’ ass and taking names during the bike leg, only to be humbled with thoughts of “oh sweet Jesus, I might die” throughout the entire running leg, here I am tossing myself over the finish line.
once again: ummmm…spandex…

Another lesson learned: If you wear a top that zips up the front, you can’t very well pre-pin your number on your top, so you have to pin it on your pants or shorts. Then when you tear the number on your pants because you put them on way too fast are weren’t careful, you have a floppy, annoying number stuck to your hips for the entire race. Modify strategy next time.

Also for next time: be sure to throw hands up in the air and/or make victory punch toward the heavens, give a big, toothy smile, and pick up those knees when crossing the finish line. Makes for a much cooler looking picture.

And I for one, am all about looking cool.

I love my friends

Ahhhh, this girl had a nice little weekend. After being sickly and yucky for a good part of last week, by Saturday, I was good and ready to expend some personal energy on searching for, and attaining joy. Friday night I went out to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Lindsey and Erin. It was a good remake. Not better than the first movie, but a nice updated version. Agustus Gloomp was perfect, as was Charlie. I was relieved to find out that Johnny Depp did a great job as Willy Wonka, and wasn’t the creepy Michael Jackson-esque character that the previews made him out to be. I was also pleased with the Charlie Bucket house, and the fact that the grandparents slept head-to-toe just like the first movie (and probably the book, but I haven’t read the book).

Saturday started with an unusually early trip to the gym for some swimming. “Unusually early” meaning 10AM. Apparently there is a water aerobics class every Saturday scheduled for 9:30AM. So I had to sit in the hot tub for 30 minutes and wait for the class to end until I could get in the pool for some laps. Then I had lunch with a couple of friends downtown, did some light shopping (as I was told that I didn’t have a high enough skank factor in my current wardrobe) and headed home for a quick power nap before hitting the town.

It was Lindsey’s roommate Amy’s birthday on Saturday, so the evening’s agenda was slightly more festive than an average Saturday night. First we went to Howl at the Moon, a dueling piano bar, and then to Cowgirl’s Inc, a Coyote Ugly themed bar that, despite being trashy by nature, has turned out to be incredibly fun each time I go there. I might add that since we were all part of a birthday party, we didn’t have to pay cover at either place, which just left more money in our pockets for liquid courage.

Here’s one of the pianos…


I had a bunch of birthday party favors that I bought a while ago with the intention of sending them all to a certain birthday boy earlier in the month. However, right as I was about to mail said decorations, we had…a bit of a falling out? So, I had all these dang birthday accoutrements that need a home. So I brought them for Amy. The dang noise makers were duds, making no noise at all (Dollar Store, I guess you get what you pay for?) but were still very fun to play with. And most of them shot straight down when blown. So I had to coach this poor thing along manually.

** okay, there was a photo here of me with the above referenced noise maker, and looking at it again, it is way too phalic for public posting.**


Here’s one of Tracey and Me. Apparently I forgot to eat dinner before heading out. (please note my gold bling)

Then we went to Cowgirls Inc. which was insanely crowded, yet very fun. There was lots of dancing going on there, so I didn’t get many pictures. But I managed to take one of Lindsey giving a thorough background check (and interrogation) to my new friend Chris from Canada who was just in Seattle for the weekend. I appreciate her taking the time to complete the background check. A girlfriend's approval is like the gold standard of safety and security.

Please note that he is showing her his driver’s license, as is the typical protocol for any applicants into my “Canadian Neighbors to the North Junior Ambassadors Academy.” It’s my latest nonprofit endeavor, encouraging cultural exchange between twenty-somethings of our two fine nations.

The next morning I was very sleepy, but it was my office summer picnic, which was actually a BBQ and Mariner game (so much more fun that the idea of petting zoos and hay rides a Remlinger Farms like usual…). I took Lindsey, my platonic life-partner as my date. It was a great day for Baseball in Seattle.

Ahhhh, Safeco…


Lindsey and I looking very blue-eyed.



After the 7th inning, we went out and had drinks at Sluggers, where the giant beers and mystery drinks were a’flowing. A great way to kill a Sunny Sunday afternoon. All this put me into fine form this morning at work. So after a full day at work, all I really managed to accomplish was determining the difference between Diet Coke and the new “Coke Zero.”

If you’re interested, here’s an article that explains the phenomenon. But be careful, even READING it might give you brain cancer!!

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/dining/drivethru/3235382

She has 27 years

And still some mildly discomforting stomach ick. So I'm going to go to the doctor today to be sure that I'm not having an alien baby. Gosh, that would be a lot to deal with.

Yesterday was my birthday, I had an okay day I suppose. I have to say, I think the best part of the day was when I got home, I rushed to the store to get some cake mix and cupcake papers (those little cup thingys) so I could make cupcakes to bring to my kickball game. I was a bit conflicted about the idea of making my own birthday cupcakes, but decided that it was a perfectly fabulous idea, as cupcakes are delicious and being a summer baby, I never got a chance to bring cupcakes to school when I was little on my birthday.


"It's really human of you to listen to all my bullshit" -Samantha, Sixteen Candles...

The cupcakes, and our athletic prowess, lead our team, the ToeJammers to an undisputed victory. I think the score was something ridiculous like 9-1. I got 2 of those runs because I'm such a good kickballer.... I will have to take some photos to share next week. We are a quite a force. We actually did play pretty well and it was fun to win after last week's fiasco.

Anyway, in other news... I generally reserve comments regarding my personal life for off-blog discussion only, but I will make one blanket observation about meeting people, specifically, people of the male persuasion: When you meet "fun, life of the party guy" when you're out with friends, it's totally normal that you've both had a few drinks and are getting along quite well. After that, he's allowed to call maybe one night from a loud bar to see how you're doing. A yellow flag waves however, if the night in question is a Sunday night. The color of said flag gets closer to a deep orange/red if the next time he calls, he is on his WAY to a bar to meet a buddy for "one last drink". And its a Tuesday. And when you talk again on a Thursday, he's neither at or going to a bar, but has limited recollection of details of prior conversations. And wants to "get a drink later." I'm certainly no suffragette, and I can get down with the John Barleycorn if you know what I mean, but at the ripe old age of 27, I can safely say, "I just don't have the time or the energy for this shit."

I think I'm justified in adopting this position, but perhaps I just need to lighten up and get back in the swing of things?

The Human Gina sometimes gets sick

Like today. The inner voices in my head thought it was my alarm clock waking me up this morning at 3:30AM. I was wondering why it was happening earlier than usual. I still had a couple hours to sleep! But the crankiness I was experiencing from being woken up early was soon replaced with a nasty pain in my stomach. Felt like I had swallowed a sock, or a box of Kleenex and it was lodged in my small intestine. That was special.

I stayed home from work, initially thinking that I was nearly playing hookie, as the pain wasn't THAT bad and it would probably pass soon.


But its still hanging out and I don't like it one bit. Lying down doesn't work, standing up makes it worse. So I'm trying to sleep but its hard cause I'm not comfortable. I don't have things like Tums and Pepto on hand, and I certainly don't want to drive to the store to get some, so I tried a glass of water with 1/2 a teaspoon of baking soda in it, per the advice of Dad. Besides tasking pretty gross, the effects were not noticeable.

I just am bored, feeling bad, want to the world to feel sorry for me, and I want someone to talk to. Yet talking hurts. I'm in a pickle.

Current mood: grumpy

Me llamo Gina, soy una triathleta

Well this is just ridiculous. When you say that times are going to be posted “later tonight,” shouldn’t they at least be posted by the next day? Okay, fine- how about the day after that?!? Grrr….. I’m STILL waiting for my times to be posted for Sunday’s triathlon. I think I was at about 1 hour 30-35 minutes but I’m not sure. Didn’t wear a watch.

A lot of people finished ahead of me, and there were a lot of people still chugging along when I was crossing the finish line, so “middle of the pack” is a-okay with me. The swim was hectic, kind of weird, but everyone was having a hard time with it, so I felt slightly to the right of average. The first transition was dumb. I couldn’t find my bike and felt like I was wandering around forever trying to find it. Note to self: make mental note of location when racking bike next time… The bike leg was good. Didn’t do too well at pacing myself, cause getting passed was not something I was okay with. Couldn’t let some jock on a mountain bike pass me. I don’t care how big his calves were. Bike/run transition was also a little weird- disorienting. Started running and I thought I was going to die. Didn’t actually die, but really thought death was impending. Those feeling were soon replaced with thoughts of “why the hell did I pay money to do this?” but by then I was almost at the run turnaround signaling the half-way point of the run, so it was all good from there. Felt good to finish. I think my run times probably were really slow, but that’s what I was expecting. All of those jocks on mountain bikes were able to regain a lead on me in the run, but I’m okay with that. I beat them on the swim and on the bike.

But you know its bad news when you pull into the parking lot and there are several cars adorned with bumper stickers like “I Heart Running” and “Trail Runners’ Association.” I mean really folks, who the heck wants to run on trails for fun when its so much nicer to walk??? Some people are just crazy.