…there was a girl who broke up with her boyfriend. She was pretty sad about it. She thought that she did the right thing, but she was not sure. Just an all-over queasy, I-might-throw-up-soon feeling. The Dutch might say, “niet zo groot.”
So when she got to work and saw his sweet, smiling face looking at her from his picture underneath the glass on her desk, she wanted to get it out from there, and take it away. Tuck it safely in the back of a drawer or something. She first tried unbending a paper clip to see if she could wedge it under the glass, and pull the picture out. Just pushed the picture in further. Then she tried to fish it out again with a piece of paper. She tried and tried and the picture just kept getting pushed further and further in towards the center of her desk, inaccessibly lodged there, staring at her.
She sat, exhaled and thought to herself, “damn.”
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8 comments:
Oh friend........
I'm sorry sweetie. I hope you're doing as ok as you can be despite the situation. I'm feeling for you - desperately. If you need an ear to bend about the situation you know how to reach me.
Sadness.
Amy
Continuation of story....
"She finally wedged a thick piece of paper under the glass and set the photo free. There was a big empty spot of dark wood where the photo once was. So she cut out a close-up picure of her dogs big, wet nose and put it there under the class. So she has another sweet face to look at during the day. And that made her feel a little better."
As a side note, She appreciates Amy's offer to allow her ear to be bent. She might take her up on that offer some day soon. But right now she's all talked-out about it.
I hope things get clearer...
You know I err on the side of Expressing, because I trust your judgement in interpreting my views...
When I broke up with Dirk, I remember one friend had a hard time hearing me say I didn't know if it was the right thing. Since then, I've seen that the pros are: I did terribly want space and room to stretch in ways that I didn't with him. And in some ways I feel like I bring a more secure self to my endeavors. The cons: I feel like I let go of something without realizing that I could've problem- solved and stayed with him. Breaking up was a little bit instantly gratifying. I remember noting, "I don't know if this is the right thing, but this is what I want" (And while I was sad, I comforted myself with, "It's the right thing.")
So after three months (too long for him), I wanted to get back together but he had learned from experience to make clean cuts.
And since then I've seen that my lifetime learning lesson is: everyone has some quirk that I find scary...and I don't get better at better at working through things when I flee! It's so hard...we passionately tell our friends to Take Care of Yourself, but there's no clear answer and it feels so cold...
I'm learning that there is more to life than feeling successful. Ag! But I'm addicted to feeling successful!
Thinking of ya,
Anne
Oh Gina! That makes me so sad for you:( I once dated someone for 5 years and really thought I was going to marry him, but we were constantly separated by distance and it just became too hard. This was 2 years go that we broke up and I still think about our break up every day. Some days I miss him like crazy and some days I'm happy with the decision. My point is that it will always hurt to varying degrees, but my best advice is to surround yourself with your girlfriends, your family, and your dog as much as possible, because they'll never leave you high and dry. Big hugs, Emily
Sorry to hear that. Time helps to heal. But for now it sucks! When I breakup I watch the lion king. It's all a part of the "circle of life" Remember the good times, but basically they are "dead" to you. Yea clean cuts, never go back... usually... :)
Gina,
I'm sorry for not re-checking your blog before calling you Monday afternoon. If I had known you didn't feel like talking I totally wouldn't have called. Sorry. I understand that sometimes it's better not to talk about it and I should've respected that. :(
oops that last comment was me - Amy
Stay strong sister, big hug. And give me a ring when you can.
Nick
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