Books: My Top Five of Oh Five...so far.

Okay- Since January, I haven’t really finished a whole lot more than 5 books, but here are the ones that qualify. While they may not be the best books in the world, they’re the ones that were good enough for me to read all the way through. And that’s big for me. A Actually have a book that was so inconsequential that I ready the entire thing, save the last 4 pages, and never actually finished it. I forget the name, but it was by the Author of Bridget Jones’ Diary and it came out about a year ago. There’s a picture of a lady snorkeling in a giant martini glass on the cover. Very blah. The character was nothing even close to Bridget.

Here they are, in my order of reading, not in order of preference (And these weren't necessarily written in 2005, but its the year I read them. Yes, it IS all about me):

1) Angels and Demons: For a long time, I had an aversion to reading the DaVinci Code because I was sick of hearing everyone and their brother raving about it. But I bought this book in the Dallas airport on my way home from a work training as a gift for someone who likes the author. I decided to read it on the way back and I really loved it. A very suspenseful and captivating story. The kind of book you can’t wait to get back to. It was my first Dan Brown book, so nothing seemed to rhyme with his other books yet. I compare this (loosely) to my first Christopher Guest movie, which was Best In Show. This is solely because I wasn’t expecting anything at all when I saw that movie, and was delighted. Many will say that Spinal Tap, or perhaps Waiting for Guffman is his true best work, but Best in Show will always have a special, hilarious place in my heart. Don’t girls always say that about their firsts?)
2) DaVinci Code: Okay, I was hooked. I caught the fever. But I still refuse to read the Harry Potter series. I NEARLY veered from that path last weekend. Thank GAWD than an emotionally draining, yet cathartic discussion ensured so I didn’t have to keep reading the book. Anyway- I liked DaVinci Code, a very entertaining story, and thought provoking. Do I “buy it?” Maybe? I really wasn’t totally sold on the alternative in the first place, so it wasn’t some sort of life-shattering/affirming book for me. But a great story. And I like seeing religious conservatives get all bent out of shape when a little fictional story puts an alternative perspective on their beliefs. That’s fun to watch. But the anemic, and inconsequential romantic undertones between the two main characters seems a little familiar.

2.5) Deception Point: I had the Fever. And the only thing that could cure me was more Dan Brown. Well… actually I had this book on the book shelf- was given to me as a recommended read. I think I had started it in ’04, but didn’t quite get past the first chapter. I thought I’d jump back into it with a renewed interest, thus qualifying it as an “oh five” read. Not too shabby. Certainly interesting enough to power through the book on the exercise bike at the gym. But at this point, I’m getting a little tired of the 40-something intellectual as the leading man, who is somewhat of a broken man when it comes to love, until that is, he realizes while escaping death, that he really does love that young, vivacious go-getter female lead who’s father was very accomplished- but did she ever really get the love she needed from Daddy? Or was Daddy too much in love with his craft?

3) The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know: Okay, don’t judge. I first ran a search for this book because I saw a guy reading it at Glo’s Diner on Capitol Hill. He was sitting there, alone at his table, with the book and its cover out for all to see. I was with Allison at the time and of course we noticed it. I think he liked that. Recently ran a search for the book because this story came up in conversation, and I was wondering, and somewhat willing to bet, if/that this guy was doing some sort of psychological experiment, and there was some grad student note-taker behind a silk plant noting how many people made eye contact with him, or blushed after reading the title of the book. I think my initial response was “no way is he, or that book for real.” I seriously thought it had to be a fake book. But no, its real. And I found it on amazon.com. Then I bought as a gift- kind of a gag gift if you will. A gift given with the sole intention of embarrassing the recipient when he opened it in front of his friends. But I read it first. (Kind of like Angels and Demons). The first half of the book pretty much dispels the idea that a man’s orgasm and ejaculation are at all connected physiologically, and that our western cultures just sees them as one in the same. That one means the other. The book is all about how that isn’t true at all. Okay. Great. But the SECOND half of the book is what qualifies it onto my list. Its pretty much a How to Please Your Partner commentary. But this is the best How to Please Your Partner commentary that I have ever read. I never thought I’d be singing praises for a sex book, certainly not writing in the margins and highlighting chapters like “Thrusting Technique” and “The Art of the Screw” but I did. Good Stuff. Spot on. Ladies, buy this book for your men. Its kind of like when you man buys lingerie for you. Sure, its “for” you, but really its for him. Sure, this book is really for him, but its really for you too. Don’t get me wrong, this will not make bad sex good, but it will make phenomenal sex phenomenalER.

4) Kite Runner: Just a dang good book. And an important book to read. Mixes a splash of history with a twist of current events, poured into a universal coming of age story about friendship, innocence, forgiveness and love of country, family and friends. More people should read this book. Why do I feel like a cocktail all of a sudden…

5) Under the Banner of Heaven: Don’t get me wrong, this is a good book. I think it could have been better. I enjoyed it because it gives a great background into the history of Mormonism and kind of answers all of those questions about the origin of the faith, basic beliefs etc without being religious propaganda and/or having a 21 year old blonde kids with acne and a clip-on tie named “Elder so-and-so” in your living room. But who knows, some Mormons might find it anti-Mormon propaganda? But the book really isn’t about Mormons, its about religious fundamentalists, in this case the FLDS “church” (fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints) which from what I can tell, has no formal, recognized or authorized connection to the LDS church. What the book doesn’t do (and could have done) is give much of an answer to, or even a suggestion for an answer to the questions of: How do we as a human race know when to “say when” to religion? At what point is something that is valued, praised and modeled by most societies, in one way or another, become toxic? And who/what exactly is authorized or capable of making that kind of decision? But that’s a pretty touch question to answer. And at the end of it, you might feel the way you’d feel when you read some long academic research piece that concluded at the end that “it is clear from these studies that more research is warranted.”

So now here’s my predicament: What should I read next? I have some books that were given to me that I haven’t ready yet, and if one YOU gave me is on this list, please don’t be offended that I haven’t read it yet! Since this great weather, I’m less inclined to use the exercise bike and more inclined to use my real bike. Which has cut down considerably on my reading time. Here’s what I’ve got in the bull-pen (in no particular order)

1) The Road to Al-Qaeda: I bought this so I could understand more. This curiosity came from reading Under the Banner of Heaven. A non-fiction book. Haven’t started it. Great, I hope putting that here doesn’t make my site come up for some Patriot Act review…
2) Life of Pi: Given to me to read. Not sure if it was a recommendation based on what that person thought I would like to read, or more of a, “I’ve got his book, don’t need it anymore, nothing else to do with it, guess I’ll send it to Gina” Probably a bit of both.
3) Middlesex: A birthday present.
4) Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time: Given to me based on a “I just read this and think you’ll love it” recommendation
5) The Crimson Petal and the White: Recommended a long time ago. Purchased a long time ago. Has been collecting dust for a long time- haven’t even cracked the cover.
6) The Red Tent: Same deal- recommended a long time ago, bought it, never got around to reading it.


So my friends: What should I read next??