Message to the Women’s Cosmetics Industry: GFY!!! We actually get BETTER with age!

In case you’re not a potty-mouth by nature, that stands for: Go F*ck Yourself. I’m sick and tired of looking in the mirror and thinking : oh no… I’m starting to get older… my skin really WON”T stay firm and elasticy for all eternity!! Cripes! I hope there is an under-eye cream or something that can help!! I realized today that I’m actually getting better with age, so take THAT cosmetics industry!

The background:

After reading my post about malted wine beverages of yesteryear, my dear friend Beth was inspired to scavenge through some old pictures from college to see if she could find any photographic evidence of Cisco consumption. As I foggily recall, it was her “Family Drink” in the house. My oh my, what a dysfunctional family… Anyway- she couldn’t find any photos from freshman year, when she and her “twin” Amy imbibed the delicious malt libation that is.. Cisco, for the very first time. However, she DID find this choice shot of the two of us during our sophomore year….

Clearly a picture like this prompts one to continue looking through the box of old pictures to find more marvels. Her husband commented, “Oh man, is that Gina? She looks… prepubescent!?”
Okay, so we clearly look like ASS. But afterall, that bottle of Cisco is almost half empty- of COURSE we’re going to look a little… “off.” But here’s another whopper:

This is from Dad’s weekend, and as you can read from the Party Pic frame, the year was 1997.

Nice boyish sweaters huh? Yeah, I guess “Lesbian Chic” was the look we were going for? I mean really… It was Dad’s weekend though, so I do remember that every single sorority girl seemed to turn it down a notch (or two… or three) that weekend as far as the skanky-ho factor was concerned. But seriously, juxtapose that photo with the fact that I now drive a Subaru and have a dog? Smart money would bet that my future would include comments like, “What a beautiful baby! Which one of you is the birth mom?”

And no, that wasn’t REALY Diet Pepsi that we were drinking, but rather Busch Lite that was secretly poured into Pepsi cans in the SAE’s laundry room. You see, Beth and I both were on House Council that year, and the campus had just “gone dry.” Because we were in a position of leadership, we were really trying to enforce it and set a good example…. Yes, I see now that we were missing the point.

Hey Gina, 1997 called. It wants it mom-hair back. (yes, that was in direct reference to a term I learned recently on Mommymatic!)

But aren’t our Dad’s the cutest?

So here we are present day for a point-by-point comparison.

While it is quite tempting to leave it that- with one photo where we both look relatively nice (afterall, it was from her wedding, there was “hair and make-up” involved”)- I am going to leave you with a mini-montage to see for yourself. Some “real life” pictures- some posed, some not, some cute, some not so cute. But all in all, I think we’ve done better with time. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is universal throughout woman-kind.





My take home message (as long as we’ve been talking about malted wine beverages…): Girls are like malt liquor, fun, obnoxious, tasteless and well, pretty cheap. Women are like good red wine: fabulous, and ever improving (assuming proper corking and storage).