Friday, August 25, 2006

A blog lightening round.... Go!

A couple of quickie updates then I'll send you back in the world knowing a little bit more about the silly things that have happened to me in the last week or so.

1) My 10 year high school reunion came and went two weeks ago. I was off frolicking in Nova Scotia at the time, and was unable to attend, but there were some photos posted so I was able to live vicariously through the experiences of others thanks to Snapfish. I was thrilled to see that one of the little pip-squeak kids who was in my Advisory (AKA: Homeroom) class turned out to be quite a looker after growing up. Good for him.

2) I now unequivocally accept that my neighbor is not, in fact, gay. I thought he was for a the longest time. I mean, his place is immaculate, he has a baby grand piano in his office (the same room that is packed full of bikes, computers, filing cabinets, sleeping bags, tool boxes etc in MY adjacent apartment) which he plays amazingly well, and he's just such a nice guy. Always willing to help, seems very sensitive and genuine without seeming creepy or sleazy. He is also a "personal friend" (he says) of my landlord, who is gay. They talk a lot, they hug each other hello... if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I don't know, I just kind assumed he was gay too.

So this girl has started coming by his place every once in a while and often times she'll come over late at night. (I know this because then you ring the door bell for either of our apartments, you can hear it in the other's too, so we regularly open the door for one another on accident). It didn't strike me as odd, as he repeatedly introduced her to me as "This is Katie- we work together." Something about the "...we work together" added to the end of every sentence made it seem like, well, maybe they were just friends. And when I did think about it, I would come to the natural conclusion that it was none of my damned business, and I didn't really care which way his wind blew. So I continued along my merry path of "I have a lovely gay neighbor man." Until I got home from walking Daphne yesterday.

As I was fishing for my keys to unlock the (new and improved) deadbolts, I had this weird feeling that the upstairs neighbor was watching porn... I think I just assumed the sound was coming from upstairs because the upstairs neighbor guy (as opposed to this next door neighbor guy) does seem a little sleazy. But as I found my key (and the jangling sound stopped) I realized that the sound was in fact coming from the next door- which is approximately 12 inches from MY door.

It was Katie, in all of her splendor. And it was my neighbor (though Katie was certainly the more vocal of the two). They were "working" together alright. And it did NOT sound like this was his first time "working" with a woman. From the tone of her feedback, I'd say he knew what he was doing. It was ALARMING how clearly the sound of their "work" was resonating through the entire front entry way of our small apartment building. To be honest, it sounded like they were doin' it with the front door wide open.

Because I could hear them so well, I just assumed that they could hear ME just as well too (though on further reflection, I'm sure they were a bit too busy to be listening up for the random comings and goings of fellow building tenants). So I immediately was overcome with extreme embarrassment. My reaction was strange- I've had "noisy neighbors" before, and never had a big problem with it, but I didn't really know those people. These two? I feel like I know them. I feel like I walked in on two friends, and now I'm afraid that I'm going to trip over my words or just blush like crazy next time I see them.

Who am I kidding though- I'm actually just jealous. Good for them!

3) All this talk about Pluto being reclassified, and no longer being considered a planet got me thinking. What kind of criteria are there to be a planet? How might one submit an entry for consideration into this planetary status? And who the heck gets to make the final decision?? Are the people on this decision committee huge geeks? Totally cool science wizards? A little bit of both?? How much are school text book companies dancing in the street right now at the prospect that all elementary school science teachers are going to have to order new books for this school year? But my two key questions are:
  • How cool would it be to have a band named "Planetary Criterion"?
  • Will calling Pluto a "Dwarf" as opposed to a "Little Planet" soon surface as a Planetary Rights violation?


Any help with these questions would be greatly appreciated.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Frozen Dwarf would be a good name for a band. (Or has someone in DC in a High Place already called for that name?) And oy on the "bruits significatifs" as the French say of happily active neighbors. How funny! Is your neighbor tom Cruise? Love, Cindy

Lisaopolis said...

Damn, just as I was gonna ask you to hook me up with your not-gay neighbor...oh well, maybe he'll stop working with that one girl soon.

Per your planetary musings, welcome to academia meets the private sector, it reeks of that all over! I approve of the band names, and also pondered whether this deletion is dollar-driven by the textbook companies. Because otherwise, who the hell really cares whether little Pluto is a planet or not, we know and love him because he's 87 ba-jillion light years away, we'll never go there, and he has a funky out-of-the-ordinary orbit pattern. I'm just a bit worried for School House Rock's '"Interplanet Janet" though, as she's gonna have to change her route, not to mention her groovy song, a bit here soon.


By the way, if I meet anyone who is part of the "International Astrological Union" I'll marry them on the spot, just for being in such a cool-ass sounding organization. It's like calling something whacky "Scientology", but with street cred. Ew, I hope I don't get any Scientology spam now....

Anonymous said...

Damn, just as I was gonna ask you to hook me up with your not-gay neighbor...oh well, maybe he'll stop working with that one girl soon.

"I need a co-worked for a job"